When the first light of life shines in your child’s eyes, everything is new. Your child does not think in terms of right and wrong. Your child should does not think in success or failure. Your child just is. Your child is naturally focused on exploring, being curious, and gradually developing step by step. He notices that what he experiences triggers all kinds of feelings inside him. He learns, influenced by his environment, to label these feelings: sometimes he feels happy, sad, energetic, tired, angry, rebellious, curious… Whatever sparks his interest, he wants more of it. Feeling, laughing, jumping, hearing, tasting, seeing, experiencing… Based on what he goes through and how people around him respond to certain experiences, he starts to explain, categorise, and see things in terms of right and wrong, success and failure.
But is something really right or wrong? Can you really succeed or fail? Or does everything just exist and are success and failure just a dubious judgment? Just because your child wants something different, experiences something differently, desires something else, or acts differently than his parents or other people around him does not mean it is wrong or that he has failed. Everyone has their own path (Tao) to follow, a path in balance (Yin & Yang) and without force (Wu wei). That path is different for everyone. By limiting a child to what you think, you steer him away from his path (Tao): without words, you are saying that your path (Tao) is better for him than his. But he is not you, and you are not him. Life simply is, and in it, every child has their own path (Tao) to find. Walking your own path creates a healthy self-image, brings resilience, tolerance, and care for others and the environment.
Everyone has their own path to walk, which is neither right nor wrong. It is not about succeeding or failing but about developing in balance (Yin & Yang) and without force (Wu wei). In a world full of countless lifelong rules, there is a big risk of getting lost on someone else’s path. In a world where an image is created that only a little is good and a lot is wrong, that few succeed and many fail, there is a high chance you will be tempted onto someone else’s path. Children who are different from the majority can feel a lot of pressure to be tempted into walking someone else’s path, making it harder for them to build a healthy self-image. This can result in your child losing themselves on someone else’s path.
- Trias Vita coaches (exceptionally) gifted children and youngsters from an ecosystemic Taoist perspective to help them develop a healthy self-image. You can find more info about this here;
- In the fall of 2026, Trias Vita will also start an (online) course on how to support a child’s development without punishing or rewarding them. You can find more info about this here;
- At the end of August 2026, Trias Vita will start new ‘Natural Oasis’ groups. Children aged 3 to 5 will discover, through play, who they are in relation to themselves and others.
If you are interested in coaching, the (online) course, or ‘Natural Oasis’, email Trias Vita.
Trias Vita is a centre for lifelong development that supports children and young people to develop in connection with themselves, others, and the natural environment from an ecosystemic Taoist life perspective: finding your path (Tao) in balance (Yin & Yang) and without force (Wu wei).
Any questions? Mail to info@triasvita.com.
More about Trias Vita on this website.
Vicki Van Lommel, founder Trias Vita