When your child is allowed to express what he needs and what he wants from birth, and is heard by you as a parent, your child learns to develop from a place of trust. Trust that his needs are just as important as anyone else’s, even if he cannot put them into words yet. Trust that there is someone walking alongside him to lean on. He learns to trust that he can rely on himself. That he can always make new choices, even when it seems like there is no path.
By experiencing from a young age the freedom to make your own choices and noticing that people listen to you, you learn to act independently, take responsibility, and understand that behind every choice there are different paths. You realize that each path offers something different to learn, and that falling does not mean the end but that it is about finding new ways to grow and continue on your path or look for another path that might suit who you are better. This way, your child feels competent. Your child builds a self-image that can support him, no matter what happens.
Because you are truly listened to and actually heard, you learn that it is also worth listening to others and really hearing them. As a child, you learn that you are never alone if you are allowed to feel heard together. This way, you experience as a child that you are allowed to exist, that you can feel part of something bigger, that you are connected. It motivates you from within not just to rely on others, but also on yourself. In this way, you search for your own path (Tao), in balance (Yin & Yang), and without force (Wu wei). You also learn that your own desires and choices are just as valuable as those of others and that you can give them attention.
Not every child naturally experiences being seen and heard. Even if, as a child, you get to feel that your parents see and hear you, that does not always have to be the case outside the home. If there are fewer people around you in society who are similar to you, for example because you are (exceptionally) gifted, it might be harder for those around you to really see and hear you. In that case, it can help as a child to get a little support in your development to follow your own path (Tao):
- Trias Vita coaches (exceptionally) gifted children and youngsters from an ecosystemic Taoist perspective to help them develop a healthy self-image. You can find more info about this here;
As a (grand)parent or professional, it can be helpful to get extra support in truly hearing and seeing your child/children, especially if, for example, you yourself were not heard or seen as a child:
- In the fall of 2026, Trias Vita will also start an (online) course on how to support a child’s development without punishing or rewarding them. You can find more info about this here;
With ‘Natural Oasis’, children get to feel, desire, and experience being seen and heard while playing, and also how nice it is to be curious about others:
- At the end of August 2026, Trias Vita will start new ‘Natural Oasis’ groups. Children aged 3 to 5 will discover, through play, who they are in relation to themselves and others.
If you are interested in coaching, the (online) course, or ‘Natural Oasis’, email Trias Vita.
Trias Vita is a centre for lifelong development that supports children and young people to develop in connection with themselves, others, and the natural environment from an ecosystemic Taoist life perspective: finding your path (Tao) in balance (Yin & Yang) and without force (Wu wei).
Any questions? Mail to info@triasvita.com.
More about Trias Vita on this website.
Vicki Van Lommel, founder Trias Vita