Every child is different. Some are faster, others slower. Some are funnier, others more thoughtful. Some are more agile, while others excel at observation. Then there are children who are (exceptionally) gifted. They did not choose to be like that. They simply were born that way. They cannot make themselves less intelligent, yet this is often unconsciously expected of them at school. They also express themselves differently than other children, which can frequently lead to frustration and/or a lack of understanding, including on the part of teachers.
For instance, these children are often thought to struggle with authority. But would you do something you were told to do if you were certain it was wrong? Would you carry out or accept something you did not understand, especially if you were someone who felt a strong need to grasp a concept fully before acting on or accepting it? These children also run a higher risk of receiving a poor grade if they use vocabulary in written assignments that the average child does not yet use. Some teachers then make the unjustified assumption that an adult, rather than the child, must have done the homework, even when they know the child is (exceptionally) gifted. After too many such experiences, (exceptionally) gifted children stop showing their true selves. They begin to underachieve because they have repeatedly been punished for simply being who they are. This makes it difficult for them to find their own path (Tao), in balance (Yin & Yang) and without force (Wu wei), with possible life-long negative consequences.
It appears that many (exceptionally) gifted children drop out of school prematurely. Only ten percent of students in higher education are estimated to be (exceptionally) gifted. Research shows that 21 percent of these students do not complete their studies. The reasons for this are often attributed to the students themselves, such as a lack of motivation, poor study skills, and underachievement, but is this correct?
(Exceptionally) gifted pupils and students face an increased risk of achieving lower grades because they interpret questions and assignments differently than their average peers. They score lower not because their answers or solutions are incorrect, but because they fail to meet expectations, and this throughout their entire school career. Is the issue truly a lack of study skills, or do you simply lose the drive to study after being rejected time and again for simply being yourself, as this accumulation of negative experiences erodes your motivation? Consequently, you may no longer dare to reveal your true self as a (exceptionally) gifted individual, leading to a pattern of chronic underachievement. After all, you have learned that showing your true self leads to being penalised. This chain of negative experiences makes it unnecessarily difficult for a (exceptionally) gifted child or youngster to build a healthy self-image.
Trias Vita coaches (exceptionally) gifted children and young people from an ecosystemic Taoist perspective to develop a healthy self-image. You can find more info about this here;
In the fall of 2026, Trias Vita will also start an (online) course on how to support a child in his development without punishing or rewarding him. You can find more info about this here;
At the end of August 2026, Trias Vita will start new ‘Natural Oasis’ groups. Children from 3 to 5 years old discover through ‘Magic of Play’ who they are in relation to themselves and others. Sometimes indoors, but also outside in nature. This way, the natural development of children is addressed and encouraged.
If you are interested in coaching, the (online) course, or ‘Natural Oasis’, email Trias Vita.
Trias Vita is a centre for lifelong development that supports children and young people to develop in connection with themselves, others, and the natural environment from an ecosystemic Taoist life perspective: finding your path (Tao) in balance (Yin & Yang) and without force (Wu wei).
Any questions? Mail to info@triasvita.com.
More about Trias Vita on this website.
Vicki Van Lommel, founder Trias Vita